Sitting Tall
by SongsofPsyche1945
Summary: A freak accident involving Fili, wet wood and a treehouse leaves Kili paralyzed from the waist down. Feeling incredibly guilty, Fili builds Kili a wheelchair to help him get around. Kili manages to get around and seems pretty happy, but will Fili ever forgive himself? FOLLOW MY TUMBLR at songsofpsyche13!
1. Chapter 1

This one is for TheHobbitAlways, who sparked the idea for this story. Please read, enjoy and review!

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"Come on Fee!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Slow down!" Fili sighed slightly as he quickened his pace down the dark hallway. The only light was from the moon, and it cast it's bright light through the windows causing dark shadows from the swaying trees.

Why Kili always liked to play at night, Fili would never know.

He followed his little brother out the front door into the crisp summer night air and watched the shadowy figure of his little brother dart towards their "secret" (Thorin had built it for them) treehouse.

"Careful Kee, the wood may still be wet from today's rains." Fili whispered at his brother's climbing figure.

"You worry too much, Fee. Have some fun once in a while." Kili say with a smirk. Fili couldn't help but laugh, even at a young age of six Kili was still the sassiest dwarfling in town.

Fili carefully climbed up the wooden ladder Uncle Thorin had made for them. It was sturder, yet Fili could feel the wood slip underneath his boots.

They made it up to the top without any incidents though.

Kili whooped with laughter and swung on the tree swing he had made the day before. It hung in the middle of the small treehouse from an outstanding branch. Like a chair hanging from the ceiling. It was quite a clever contraption and Fili was envious of his younger brother's woodsworth talent.

Then it happened. The one single moment that changed the brothers lives forever. Kili swung forward with a little too much momentum and at the same time his boot slipped on a wed patch of wood. He was out of the swing, out the door and into thin air before Fili could very well blink.

"Kili!" Fili cried, making a useless grab at his brother's coat.

The small dwarf didn't even make a sound when he hit the ground.

"Kili?" Fili whispered, looking down at the motionless dark body of his brother.

"Kili!" Fili scrambled down the treehouse, feeling panic buzz in his chest. He ran to his brother.

Kili was cold to the touch.

"No! No! Kili! Mama, Uncle come quick!" Fili cried into the night.

Lights came on in the house, and two figure came running outside.

"Fili. What have you done?" Dis asked in horror as she stared at her youngest son's motionless body.

"It was an accident. I swear. He slipped and fell. Please, I didn't meant to do it." Fili babbled as Thorin checked over Kili.

Thorin finally looked up.

"Fili, be quiet. Go inside to your room. We'll talk about this in the morning. Dis, call Balin to watch Fili. We need to take Kili to Oin right away."

Fili wept softly as his mother escorted him inside, would he ever see his brother again?

_Fili be quiet._

It echoed in his head. The guilt, the pain, the shame, all of it filled up his soul and froze his voice.

Fili vowed he wouldn't speak again until he saw his brother walk.

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It's funny, how things work in life.

It's all a tumble of if's and buts

If Dis and Thorin hadn't moved Kili to the doctor's, Kili still may have had the use of his legs.

If Kili hadn't build that swing the day before, he may have never have fallen from the treehouse in the first place.

If Fili had been there just a few seconds quicker, Kili would have been saved.

If Fili had just grabbed onto him.

If Fili had been blocking the door.

Kili would still be able to walk.

Fili never forgave himself for it. The guilt bubbled up in his chest and weighed him down like a thousand coins.

He worked silently in Thorin's shop, learning the ins and outs of craft making. He never once visited Kili while he was bedridden. He couldn't face the look on his mothers face. It was too much for him to bare. So he worked silently at his desk.

Sketching, drawing, creating until it was time for Thorin to take him home.

It was Kili's chair swing that gave him the idea for the wheel-chair. Fili had thought, if a chair could hang like a swing, why couldn't it have wheels like a wagon? Then, Kili would be able to get around without Oin or Thorin carrying him.

Fili sketched the idea out on a pad of paper, and when it was time for Thorin to pack up shop for the day, he shyly showed it to his uncle.

Thorin was a very down to earth dwarf. He cared for none of the drama and nonsense of the other dwarfs and was often found defending his nephews. It was not Fili's fault. It wasn't anybodies fault that this misfortune fell upon the sons of Durin.

It was an accident.

Thorin spent most of his time trying to convince Fili of this. It was not his fault, he had no reason to feel guilty because it was an accident. Fili was not to blame at all for it. Infact, if Fili hadn't called them so fast, Kili could have died.

So when Fili showed Thorin his plans for his little brother, Thorin was more than pleased with the creativity of his eldest nephew.

"This is lovely, Lad. Tomorrow I'll show you how to use the welder and we can get started." Thorin had told him.

Fili nodded. When he stopped talking, he had also stopped smiling, but he was please none the less.

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	2. Chapter 2

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Fili would never forget the look of pure joy on Kili's face when he presented the chair to his little brother.

It was truly a work of art, with two big wheels holding up an old vintage chair, and a single small wheel in the front for balance and steering. A small wood platform rested on the wheel axels so Kili could rest his feet while he was pushed around.

Kili was enthusiastic about the chair, and overjoyed about his newly found freedom that his brother had give him.

Soon, Kili could be seen racing down the small town streets lighting speed in his chair, his brown hair flipping the wind and a whoop of joy on his lips.

And every so often a blonde blur would be seen running after his brother, not quite smiling but never the less a look of joy on his face.

"Catch me if you can, brother! For I am an racing gelding today!" Kili would cry as he sped down the street and turned a corner with the grace of a racing horse.

Fili would shake his head and follow his wild brother, feeling happy that Kili was mobile again but guilty that it had to be this way.

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Years passed, and soon many would forget that Kili was ever disabled, for the lad was always adventuring. Down the creek, up the hill, hunting, fighting, even swinging from the trees. He had perfected his new mobility, and was often faster than the most trained dwarf warrior. Dwalin, the training master would often be heard shouting curses to the wind as Kili flipped around him, striking him on the behind with a training sword and laughing manically.

Kili was by and by, and very happy dwarf. He couldn't remember very much of his childhood that involved him on two legs, and he preferred it that way. He could do anything the other dwarves could do, sometimes even better and he was proud of that.

It was the morning of Fili's 65th birthday, a joyous day in kuzedule culture for it marked the end of childhood and the start of adulthood for dwarves, Kili had made something very special for his brother; a twin pair of throwing swords, forged in the very smiths that made his Uncle's prized weaponry. He was proud of it, and felt that it was something that finally worth the gift that his brother had given him long ago. Even though, the chair had been molded and grafted into something of Kili's own design by now.

Kili rolled into the kitchen and smiled when he saw his older brother drinking coffee on the breakfast table.

"Happy birthday, brother. It's a fine day to turn 65." Kili said brightly, motioning to the bright morning sun coming in from the windows.

Fili nodded and gave him a little wave.

"You know, now that you are finally an adult it would be wonderful to hear you speak. I am just as healed as any." Kili said lightly, looking over at his brother and knowing that Fili would just shake his head and not mutter a sound.

"But if you feel like this is not the right time, please go ahead and stay silent. You know me, I'm not one to push. I like you anyway you are, as long as I can still call you my brother." Kili added, giving Fili a quick squeeze on the hand.

Fili squeezed his hand back, and then tapped the table twice, indicating that he wanted Kili to sit with him while they ate breakfast.

Kili knew his brother still blamed himself for the accident all those years ago, but he never understand why he stopped talking. It seemed that whatever had paralyzed his legs, had also paralyzed his brother's voice. Kili looked forward to the day when his brother finally opened his mouth and spoke, but he didn't push him to speak. Fili would speak when he felt ready, and Kili would be there to listen.

They ate in comfortable silence, and when they were done Kili pulled out his journal, a bottle of ink and a quil. Opening up to a new page, he wrote down;

**_Hi._**

Then flipped it over for Fili to see. Fili nodded, and then took the quil from Kili.

_Hi Kili._

They wrote back and forth, like they did every morning.

**_Happy birthday!_**

_Thanks!_

**_Do you have plans for today?_**

_I might go for a walk. Want to come?_

**_Sure. I'll roll anywhere with you_**_._

_How did I end up with such a sweet brother?_

**_I ate all of Ori's chocolates when I was just a babe._**

Kili snorted a little and smudged the words. Fili looked up at him and shook his head. And even though his lips weren't smiling, Kili could tell his eyes were.

**_I wish I could remember your voice. It's been so long._**

_Me too._

**_I wish I could hear you speak._**

_I know._

**_So do Ma and Uncle Thorin._**

_I know._

This was almost a daily ritual, but Fili was as stubborn as dwarves come. He would not speak until Kili could walk again, and they both knew that was never going to happen. It would take a miracle for either one to happen.

"Ah, I see I have interrupted your morning ritual. Should I return later?" a voice said, making both dwarves jump.

"Mr. Dwalin! It is so good to see you!" Kili said for both of them, turning his chair around and grinning and the training master.

Dwalin skitted around Kili, he had had one too many run ins with the lad to know that if he didn't want bruised shins he should walk with a wide berth around Kili.

Dwalin smiled at Fili, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Fili. You have finally come of age. I think it's time we started training with the real swords. How would you like that?"

Fili's eyes lit up, and he nodded proudly. He had been training very hard with Dwalin for the past 20 years, and now the time had finally paid off.

"You lads have any plans today?"

"Fili and I were going to take the land path to the lake after breakfast. We'll be back in time for the celebration though." Kili answered for them.

Dwalin nodded, "Make sure you do. Thorin has quite the surprise for you."

He winked at Kili, and then nodded at Fili. Dwalin know that Thorin planned to take them both for the quest of Erebor, but the lads didn't. It was going to be a surprise for them; theyre first big adventure into the Real World. Thorin hoped it would round them out and fill them up.

Dwalin knew Thorin was proud of his lads even though they both suffered through hardships, they had come out strong on the other side. Thorin only wished to see Fili smiling again, and to see Kili totally pain free. Dwalin had been there for them, through the good days and through the bad. Fortunately for them they have had more good then bad days this past year. Dwalin would had to see them spiral back downwards again and he hoped that this quest would permanently vanquish those bad days for good.

"Alrightly lads. Be sure you are home for the celebration. I'll be out in the forge if you need anything." Dwalin said, and then with a slight bow he left the kitchen.

Kili looked at his brother, "well, shall we get started?"

Fili nodded, and they were off to begin their Birthday Adventure.

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	3. Chapter 3

Kili rolled forward out onto the wood lined trail, and then stopped to wait for Fili to catch up with him. Fili walked up to him and put his hands on Kili's shoulder, asking in his own way if he could push Kili down the path.

Kili hated being pushed by anyone but Fili. It made him feel dependent, and to him that was the worst feeling in the world. Beneath the laughter and the smiles Kili was still scared of being helpless, and he hated letting things go out of his control. But things were different with Fili, who was so gentle with him that he couldn't help but feel safe when his big brother was with him.

He only wished Fili would speak to him.

"Sure, brother. You know I only let you do it." Kili answered, pulling his hands from the wheels and letting Fili push him down the path. It was nice to not have to push for once, and Kili felt himself relaxing. He always enjoyed this quiet strolls with Fili, even though the conversations were always one sided. Fili was a very good listener, and he never made Kili feel bad for not being able to do something.

When they reached the lake, Fili rolled Kili to the edge of the dock and then put the brakes on for Kili on the chair.

The lake was smooth as glass, and it cast a perfect reflection of a crystal blue sky.

Fili fiddled with a buckle on the chair, a piece Kili had added on last week to hold his bag as he rolled and then tucked it back into where it belonged.

He patted the chair, and then pulled a stool over and sat down next to Kili.

Kili watched his big brother in silence. As much as Fili tried to hid it, Kili could just tell his brother just looked….sad, and riddled with the ever lasting guilt that seemed to never go away. It pained Kili to see his brother suffer so, especially when Fili had done so much to ensure Kili's happiness. His mother said it was because Fili blamed himself for Kili's accident, but Kili knew it was something deeper than that. What else happened to Fili?

Kili may never know.

"Are you excited, to finally be of age?" Kili asked

Fili nodded.

"You can finally buy ale by yourself."

Another nod.

"What do you think uncle has planned for us?"

A shrug.

"I hope it's an adventure. I would love to explore whats beyond the hills. Wouldn't you?"

Fili looked up and nodded. He motioned for the quill and journal.

_I think you will have wonderful adventures. Even if Thorin only plans to take you to the Iron Hills and back._

"As long as you are with me, brother I don't care where we go."

Fili frowned.

_You'd really want me to come? After what I did?_

Kili raised his eyesbrows, "Of course. You are my brother, my best friend. I couldn't imagine going anywhere without you."

_You would have fun with or without me._

"I'd have more if youd come."

_I don't know._

"Why are you so unsure? You are a great traveling companion. We've been all over these hills together."

_The last time we went on a "grand" adventure, I let you fall._

"Don't start this again, Fili. You know it wasn't your fault. You're coming whether you like it or not. Even if I have to shackle you to this chair!" he laughed a little, Fili shook his head and looked down at the ground. It was his way of laughing, even though Kili hadn't seen him smile since The Accident.

Kili reached out and touched his brother's shoulder. "Don't worry, I have a feeling we have lot's of grand adventures infront of us."

Fili nodded.

_Me too._

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	4. Chapter 4

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Thorin paced the room with heavy footsteps. He was excited to tell his nephews of his quest for Erebor, but nervous about how they would accept his invitation. He wasn't too worried about Kili—who could easily maneuver the wilderness with that chair of his, but more so worried about Fili, and the fact that the lad hadn't spoken in more than three decades.

Watching the lads grow up had been both joyful and painful for Thorin. His heart ached when he saw Kili in the chair, knowing that the lad would never be able to use his legs again made him feel sad, and the weight hung on his chest like an anvil on a rope. Kili was a kindred spirit though, taking on each new challenge like it was an adventure of it's own. It was still difficult for Kili to do some things, like climb a tree, or hunt stealthily through a dense forest but Kili managed to always find a creative solution to his problems and his smile never faded. He was never jealous of the other dwarf lads who could walk and run down the street, and his confidence earned him a well deserved respect amongst the other lads. He was the most skilled archer in the range, and took pride in teaching the younger dwarflings how to shoot a boy and arrow.

It was only when he was alone, in the presence of his immediate family that Kili removed his mask. Only Thorin knew that Kili had terrible back pain, and often had to take sleeping herbs at night. Only Thorin knew that Kili absolutely refused help from anybody and threw fits when Dis or himself tried to help him. But they learned to act around Kili's stubbornness, and all was well.

Thorin also saw Kili's ache for adventure, which was why he so desperately wanted Kili to come with him on this voyage. He was worried though, for Kili loved his brother and would not go unless Fili came too.

Fili was a whole other handful. The lad was kind, but was also scared. Kili's accident so many years ago had changed him in a way that Thorin could not explain. Fili was shy, and timid. Only doing what was asked of him, and never going out on a limb to take risks.

While Kili had learned; jump, fly, risk it all and you may fall you will still succeed if you take the leap, Fili had learned; don't jump, don't go out on the limp, hide, stay invisible and you wont get hurt.

Fili had learned the wrong lesson! And no matter how hard Thorin tried to tell the lad that it was not his fault, Fili still blamed himself for Kili's injuries. They had just been dwarflings themselves when Kili had fallen, how could Fili still think they blamed him? Thorin had tried everything to get him to speak, but he couldn't seem to break down that barrier. Fili's voice had frozen solid the day Kili's legs were paralyzed. There was nothing Thorin could do but wait, and be supportive of Fili's decision to remain silent.

Thorin looked up at the door as it opened and nodded hello to his nephews.

The time had come to tell them on his quest.

Thorin smiled and offered Fili a seat. "Happy Birthday, nephew. 65 is a good year for a dwarf, I hope it treats you well." Thorin told him.

Fili nodded his head and sat down.

Kili rolled in next to his brother and set the breaks on his chair.

"Kili, it is not but half past eleven, have you already gotten yourself into an adventure?" Thorin asked with a half smile, eyeing Kili's windblown hair and flushed cheeks.

"Nah, Uncle. Fili and raced back from the pond. I won, as usual even though I tried to give him a chance to win, since it is his birthday and all."

Thorin shook his head, "You are too good of a brother, Fili."

Fili blushed and looked down at the table.

"Ma said you had an exciting tale to tell us." Kili said, rapping his knuckles and looking expectedly up at Thorin.

"Aye. I do."

"Well, do tell us! I do not think I can wait any longer!"

Thorin chuckled, Kili was always so excited about everything.

"Oin has read the signs, and he has told me now that the time is right to reclaim our homeland."

Kili furrowed his brow, "Ered Luin?-"

"The Lonely Mountain."

Kili's eyes widened in shock, and excitement. "Erebor? Uncle you are lying!"

"I was at the tavern not too long ago, and I ran into a strange fellow by the name of Gandalf. He offered his assistance and guidance if I formed a group of twelve to take siege on the mountain and conquer the dragon. I agreed."

"Have you chosen your thirteen companions?" Kili asked, leaning forward.

"Aye. There is myself, Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bomber, Ori, Nori, and Ori."

Thorin watched as Kili carefully counted on his fingers.

"You are two short of thirteen."

"Aye. I am aware. That's why I wanted to speak with you and Fili. I want you to company me on this journey as the heirs of Durin. When we reach the mountain, you both will reclaim your roles as princes of Erebor. What say you? Will you take your rightful place as my heir?" Thorin asked, pride filling his voice.

Kili stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Uncle. I would be honored! But—" he motioned towards his chair in a rare moment of vulnerability.

"We will make due. I know you, Kili. You are strong. You can do this, I know you can. But my faith is not an excuse to slack on this journey. It will be difficult, and you will be tested. I do believe that it will be worth it, in the end. So tell me, what say you?"

Kili paused for a moment, and then looked up at his brother.

"Fili?" he asked, his eyes asking silent questions.

Fili stared at him for a moment, and then shook his head slightly.

"What? Fili, come on—" Kili started, grabbing his brother's hand. Fili jerked his hand away, and Thorin saw conflict flash through his eldest nephew's face. He wished again for the thousandth time that Fili would speak his mind, but the lad stayed silent.

Fili stood up, and his eyes met Thorin's. He bowed his head lightly, asking in his way to be excused. Thorin nodded, he could tell Fili needed to think things over before he said he would come.

"We'll see you for supper." Thorin told him gently, and then Fili was gone in a flash of gold and curls.

Kili looked up at Thorin with a furrowed brow.

"Why—"

"I don't know. He still battles with himself over The Accident. Give him some time, he'll come around."

"I hope so. I thought he would be excited to go on an adventure."

Thorin sighed a sad sigh.

"Me too, Kili. Me too."

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	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to TheHobbitAlways for helping me with this story! You are awesome! :-)

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Fili's footsteps thudded through the empty forest trail as he ran as fast as he could. He had to get away. He wish he could keep running away forever, away from the pain, the guilt, the shame.

Thorin wanted him. _Him. _Why? He was so tainted, fouled by an event that never should have happened. How could uncle trust him to be on a quest, what if something went wrong? What if Kili got injured? Again? He could barely live with himself now, how could he if Kili got hurt?

A stitch in his side caused him to slow to a walk. He sighed and looked around the darkening forest, trying to catch his breath. There was a lump in his throat he couldn't get rid of, no matter how hard he tried.

Some birthday this was. He let out a sigh, and was caught off guard by slight sound his throat made. He hadn't heard his voice in so long. He wished for the millionth time that the guilt would vanish, maybe then his voice would return fully to him.

He sat down on a patch of grass near the lake and threw a small pebble in the water. Why did Thorin always have so much faith in him? It was a weird thing to lament about, but Fili felt that he didn't deserve Thorin's faith. He should have been cast out the day he let Kili fall! He should never have been allowed to be around him after what he did, yet Thorin welcomed him with open arms. Why? Because he was heir to the throne of Durin? No. How could he possibly be a prince?

It never made any sense to him. And the fact that Kili was doing so well only eased his guilt a little. Fili had watched him grow up, and he did feel very proud of his brother do adapting so well. Kili never lost his sense for adventure, even though he had lost so much already. Fili remembered the look of joy in Kili's eyes as Thorin had spoken about the quest. Kili really wanted to go, Fili could tell. He should go, he deserved to go on all the adventures that he wanted. But would he go without Fili?

Kili always looked up to Fili, and was always there for him. Fili knew it was because Kili simply did not know what happened, Thorin had never told him how he had lost his legs, and Fili dreaded the day Kili found out. Would Kili still follow his big brother so loyally after he found out what Fili did? Fili highly doubted it. Kili's eyes would go cold, and that would be the end of their brotherhood. Fili would hate to see that, so silent he remained.

Fili thought again of the quest. He longed to see Erebor. Like all dwarves raised in Ered Luin, Fili had grown up hearing the grand tales of the Lonely Mountain from his elders. He especially loved hearing Balin tell stories of the old mines in Erebor, full of treasure waiting to be unearthed by dwarf miners. In his mind's eye he saw himself uncovering the mine that held the Arkenstone and his heart swelled with longing. He wanted to be there with his Uncle when Erebor was reclaimed. He wanted to go, he truly did—

"I thought I would find you here." Fili jumped at the voice, and then turned around to see Kili sitting there in his chair a few feet away from him. How did he always manage to sneak up on people so silently?

"May I join you?" he asked, and Fili nodded. Kili rolled over to where Fili was sitting and then locked the chair's wheels into place.

"You've been thinking about the quest, haven't you?" Kili asked. He always knew what Fili was thinking.

Fili just shrugged.

"I told Thorin I wouldn't go if you did." Kili said.

Fili's eyes flashed up. _No! No, he can't sacrifice his one chance of adventure because of me. I wont let him!_

"Whoa. It's alright, brother. Because I've come here to convince you to come with me. It will be fine, I promise."

Fili shrugged, and then looked away from Kili. What was with him always being so optimistic about everything?

"Hey. Look at me." Kili paused, and Fili finally looked up.

"You need this, Fili. I can tell. Please brother, come with me. I can't do it without you." Kili pleaded softly.

Fili sighed, and then gave a small nod.

Kili smiled, they were finally going on an adventure!

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Bilbo Baggins couldn't be more flustered. The two dwarves in his pantry weren't answering any of his questions. What was going on? Why was his pantry being raided, and why wont the damn doorbell stop ringing! What was going on?!

He opened the door for what seemed like the millionth time (even though it was only the third time) that night and wasn't exactly surprised to see two more dwarves standing at his doorstep. Or atleast, one was standing, the other was sitting in an odd contraption—something that looked like a chair on wheels.

"Kili, and Fili at your service." The one in the chair said with a smile. Pointing to himself, and then to his blonde partner, who just nodded silently.

"You must be Mr. Boggins." The dark haired one said

Bilbo huffed, "I'm sorry you've come to the wrong house."

The one is the chair puffed up to full height, "What? It hasn't been canceled has it?"

"No! nothings been canceled…"

"Well, that's a relief" and with that, the dwarf grabbed the wheels on his chair, and rolled right through the door, barely missing Bilbo's toes.

"hey! Watch it!" Bilbo shouted after him.

The blonde one then handed him a bunch of knifes without saying a word, then headed down the hallway towards the other dwarves.

"He just had those sharpened, you may want to be careful." the one in the chair said with a sly smile. He turned the chair around in a few circles, and Bilbo couldn't help but stare. It was the oddest thing he had seen all day.

"Nice place you got here-what?" the dwarf asked

Bilbo shrugged and looked away, "Nothing, nothing. Be careful with the carpet, it's original."

"You were staring at me!" the dwarf accused

"No I wasn't!" Bilbo shot back

"Yes you were!"

"I—" Bilob stumbled, trying to remain polite, "I've never seen anything like that before. That's all."

"I'll take that as a compliant. Now, point in the direction of the food, Mr. Boggins. I am very hunhgry!" the dwarf said with a laugh.

Bilbo stared at the departing dwarf, slightly dumbfounded. This was going to be a very interesting night.

The night blurred by so fast that Bilbo couldn't even keep track. First they were singing, then some bloke named Thorin showed up, and then Bilbo fainted. Before he knew what was happening, Bilbo found himself riding on a pony in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of dwarves and a very befuddled wizard.

And to top his wonderful week off, it had begun to rain.

Bilbo was definitely not happy about this at all, and was extremely relieved when Thorin called back to the company that there were stopping for the night. Atleast Bilbo now could finally get some sleep.

Bilbo watched as his companions readied the came, and suddenly felt completely useless. They all had their jobs, and each dwarf worked effortlessly to fufill his task. Bombur cooked, Ori and Nori set up the bedrolls, Balin pulled out tobacco weed from his purse etc.

_Well here I am, being as useful as a sack of potatoes. _Bilbo thought sullenly

The only two who couldn't figure out were the young brothers that had arrived after Dwalin. What were they're names? Fili and Kili, yes. Tthat was it. Bilbo watched as Kili rolled back and forth in his chair, telling a story and laughing at himself as Fili stacked utensils for Bombur. By now Bilbo had figured out that Kili used the chair because he lost the use of his legs, and it truly surprised him to see how well Kili got a long by himself.

"Well, I'm not going to be useless if I can help it." Bilbo thought as he watched Kili pick up firewood and decided to go help him.

Bilbo approached him shyly, Kili saw him and smiled.

"Evening, Master Baggins. Finding everything alright?" Kili said as he leaned down and grabbed another large piece of wood.

"Evening Kili. Yes, I feel kind of useless though at the moment. Mind if I help you with collecting wood?" Bilbo asked.

Kili shrugged, "Sure."

They walked and rolled silently for a few moments until they found a nice pile of wood.

"Are you sure we're not too far from camp?" Bilbo asked nervously.

"Have no fear, Master Baggins. There is no danger here, and besides if anything does come up, I will shoot it." Kili answered with a smile. He then grabbed a large piece, much to large to do anyone any good and put it on his lap, which was now very full.

"Here, let me help. I'll push for you." Bilbo insisted, stepping forward.

"No, no it's alright. I've got it." Kili insisted.

"No you don't, here just…come here!" Bilbo made a grab for the chair handles.

"Let go! I'm perfectly fine!"

Kili jerked the chair with his free hand, the wheel struck a stray rock and send both him and the hobbit flying.

Kili glared at Bilbo, "Look what you've done! Maybe you should go back to being useless, Master Hobbit." He sneered as he pushed himself up to sitting. He leaned backward and grabbed the chair with the tip of his fingers, pulling it closer to him.

Bilbo stood up from the ground and brushed the dirt off of his clothes. He saw Kili laying on the ground, legs crumbled beneath him.

"I am so sorry, Kili. Here let me help-"

Kili sighed, "I think you've helped enough for one night."

He grabbed the chair and attempted to pull himself up, but the chair slid from underneath his grasp and he fell again. Bilbo rushed to him.

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry Kili, I—"

"Go."

"What?"

"Go. Bring the firewood to the site. I'll be there an a second."

"I'm not just going to leave…"

"Go. Now!"

"I'm just trying to help"

"I don't need your help. I don't need anybody's help. Now leave me!" Kili said, his voice cold and murderous.

Bilbo froze. Even as a hobbit, he knew better than to disobey a voice like that. He bowed his head.

"As you wish."

Then he turned away and started walking back to camp. After a few moments of silence he heard a shaky sob emerge from the dark forest.

_Oh dear gods, what have I done?_

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Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more and please review soon!

and thank you again to TheHobbitAlways for inspiring me to write this amazing story!


	6. Chapter 6

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The quest for Fili so far has been uneventful. The group-probably under Thorin's command to remain quiet- never questioned his silence. Even Bilbo, who was a curiosity himself, seemed quiet when it came to the golden haired dwarf. Maybe that had something to do with the incident night before involving Kili and Bilbo, Fili still wasn't clear on what had happened, but he did know that it had made Kili upset and that was a cause for concern. Despite this drama, Fili truly appreciated the silence, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel a sense of isolation. Only Kili would make an effort to engage him, and that worried Fili some, because what if they all knew that Kili's handicap was his fault? Were they all silently judging him? Fili tried to keep this anxiety to a murmur but sometimes it was hard to not feel just a bit paranoid.

"Fili, Kili. Go grab the plates from the ponies for Bombur. Supper is almost ready." Thorin commanded, jolting Fili from his thoughts.

The small group was settling into their camp for the night. The ponies were tied down to a few redwood trees that overlooked a small cliff, and the rapidly flowing Brandywine River. Kili sped before Fili, rolling over to the first pony with a look that clearly said "Haha I beat you!". Fili shook his head, his brother always seemed to want to prove that he was just as fast as the rest of them.

"He always makes us get the plates, but it always seems like we are the last to be served. That doesn't sound right, does it brother?" Kili asked with a small smile.

Fili shook his head softly. His brother always found something to bellyache about.

Suddenly, a rock flung from the direction if the camp and hit one of the ponies on the rear. Fluttercup, the pony neighed with fright and started struggling wildly against the reigns that attached it to the ground. Kili quickly grabbed Fluttercup's reins to try to calm the poor pony down but in it's panic it sipped over the damp moss covered rocks and plummeted into the rushing river below, pulling Kili out of his chair and half of the supplies with it.

Fili acted within an instant.

"Kili!" he shouted before he could stop himself, the ice melting in his chest just for a moment as pure adrenaline raced through his body. His only thoughts were that he must save his little brother as he raced to the edge and looked over the cliff.

"Help! Help us! Come quick, Kili's fallen into the river!" Fili shouted at the top of his lungs. Without waiting to see if the others heard, he then jumped into the river.

For a moment, the only thing Fili could see was the white foam of the water. The only thing he could hear was the rumble of the river. He couldn't breathe, and felt a widening sense of panic as the water swept him away with a force he could not stop. Then his head broke surface and he gasped for air.

"Kili! Kili where are you?!" he shouted, looking around as the white water swept him down river.

"Fili! Help!" he heard, he looked straight ahead and saw Kili gripping a slippery rock, desperately trying to hold on.

"I'm coming, Kili!" Fili shouted back. Fili fought hard against the current, his legs were burning, and he could feel sharp rocks as they cut into the skin of his torso and arms. But he didn't care, none of that mattered. All that mattered was saving Kili.

Fili reached the rock that Kili was clinging on to for dear life. He reached for his brother's hand and Kili gripped it.

"Oh thank the gods you are here. I'm so scared, Fili." Kili said, his brown eyes wide with stress and panic.

"It's going to be okay." Fili said, once again before he could stop himself, before his mind caught up with his heart and forced him to remain silent. Kili needed to know that everything was going to be okay, he needed to hear it from his big brother. That's all it took for the guilt to lessen just a little bit in Fili's chest, allowing his voice to be heard after all these years.

Kili smiled, despite their dire circumstance.

"You're talking." He said.

Fili returned the smile shyly, "I know."

Kili slipped a little on the rock, but Fili adjusted his grip on Kili's arm and they held firm. Fili could only imagine how scary this was for Kili, who couldn't swim at all, who could only use his arms to keep his head above the water.

Kili looked at Fili, panic in his eyes. "Don't let go."

"I won't." Fili said.

Kili smiled at him. "I know."

"Fili! Kili! Over here!" A voice shouted, and Fili looked over to his left to see Thorin and the entire company looking down at them from the cliff above.

"Are you two okay?" Thorin shouted

"Yes!" Kili shouted back

"Catch the rope!" Thorin commanded, and then he threw a thick rope their way. Fili quickly grabbed it and maneuvered himself so he could tie it tightly around Kili's waist. Kili gripped the rope as the current tugged him away from the rock, but it held strong.

"Don't let go of the rope, and don't struggle. Let them pull you up." Fili instructed Kili softly.

"What about you?" Kili asked.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry." Fili said as he gripped the slippery rock.

"Be careful, Fili." Kili said, and then he gripped the rope as the others pulled him up over the cliff. Fili watched as his brother was pulled up to safely and suddenly felt a pang of panic as he realized that this was the first time he had spoken in over twenty years. He had no idea how the others would take it. Would they expect him to catch them up with twenty years of thoughts? What if he just went back to being silent? He had vowed to himself he wouldn't speak until Kili could walk again, and he had broken that vow. Was it worth it? Fili knew that if he hadn't shouted, Kili would be gone…

-Then the rope splashed in his face.

"Come on Fili, don't let go!" he heard shouts as he gripped the rope with all of his strength and let the others pull him up out of the river, over the cliff and onto the grass. The evening light shown on his face as he looked up at the golden sky and gasped for breathe. He had almost died, but he had saved Kili. This time he didn't let go! He felt warm hands sitting him up, and another pair of hands wrapping a thick blanket around him. He looked around, looking for Kili.

"Kili is safe. Dwalin carried him back to camp. Thank goodness his chair didn't go over. He said he saw the pony go further downstream, Ori and Nori are looking for it right now." Thorin said, kneeling down and patting Fili's shoulder. Fili just nodded, like he always did. He shivered and pulled the blanket closer around him.

"Are you hurt?" Thorin asked

Fili shook his head.

"Can you walk?" he asked

Fili nodded.

"You were very brave, Fili. You saved your brother's life. And if we hadn't heard you shout for help, we would have never gotten here on time. You are a true hero, nephew." Thorin said, patting his shoulder again.

Fili nodded again, not looking Thorin in the eye.

"You did good, Fili. We are all proud of you." Thorin said

"And it was nice to hear your voice, after all these years. I hope that we'll be hearing more of it—you as we go on this quest." He finished.

Fili just nodded, suddenly feeling extremely shy and self conscious. What if Thorin didn't like what he had to say? Maybe he would just stay quiet. For now, at least.

Then, footsteps and hooves clicking made them both look up. Nori and Ori were walking back, soaking wet but holding Fluttercup.

"We found her! But alas, all the supplies attached to her saddle are long gone." Nori said sadly. Fili felt his heart drop a little, part of the supplies on Fluttercup's saddle had been Oin's medicine kit with the herbs Kili needed to sleep at night. After all these years, Kili still had terrible back pain, and he needed something to help him sleep at night.

"Worry not, we will resupply in the next town. If that wizard ever gets us to it." Thorin said reassuringly. He tapped Fili on the shoulder.

"Come, let's walk back to the camp together. I'm sure you all want to get into dry clothes."

Fili stood up silently, and followed his uncle and the pony back to camp.

Later that night after they had eaten dinner and washed up the plates, fili sat with his back against one of the redwood trees and smoked his pipe silently. He and Kili were supposed to be sleeping, but he couldn't even close his eyes, so awake he stayed. He had too much to think about. The days evens ran over and over through his head, and he wondered if he was actually a true hero or not. It was his fault that Kili was in the chair in the first place, had he redeemed himself at all? Maybe just a little bit, but Kili still wasn't walking and Fili knew he would never be totally guilt free until he saw his brother stand.

Much to Kili's dismay, Fili hadn't spoken a word that night. And even though the company had heard him yell for help, they still treated him the same way as they did before. Only Kili, who had heard Fili's voice up close questioned his brother on his silence. Fili had just shaken his head though, to him it was not the right time, nor place for him to speak yet.

"Fili?" a small pained whisper drifted up through the darkness, and Fili felt fingers tugging at his sleeves. Fili looked down and saw Kili looking up at him, eyes glinting softly in the moonlight.

"I can't sleep…it hurts." He whispered, and Fili knew that his brother was feeling the pain in his lower back that inflicted him every night. Usually Oin's herbs helped, but they had lost that in the river.

Fili took his brother's hand and rubbed the top of it with his thumb, trying to comfort him.

They were silent for a few moments, then Kili winced and looked up at Fili.

"Would you sing for me, brother? Like mother used to do when we were little? Maybe that will help ease me off to sleep." Kili asked.

Fili hesitated, and then looked down at Kili.

"Please? I know you can. I just want to hear your voice again." He pleaded. Fili sighed, he didn't even know if he could speak even if he wanted to. He had been silent for so long. He wanted his brother to be happy though, and that desire felt stronger than the guilt that was holding him back.

"I was so happy to hear you speak today, even if it was just a few words. Please, for me-" Kili broke off in a wince and Fili felt his brother's fingers tremble.

Fili sighed softly. He wanted to sing for his brother, he truly did but something was holding him back. Was it the guilt? His voice still felt frozen solid inside his chest even though he had felt it thaw slightly today.

It was Kili's whimper that finally made him open his mouth and start humming the lullaby that their mother sang to them when they were little. He just wanted Kili to be happy and pain free. That's all he wanted.

Eventually his humming turned to soft words that floated over the moonlit campsite

_Home is behind, the world ahead, _

_And there are many paths to tread _

_Through shadows to the edge of night, _

_Until the stars are all alight._

_Then world behind and home ahead, _

_We'll wander back to home and bed.(1)_

Fili smiled slightly as he felt something defrosting slowly in his chest, maybe just maybe things were getting better. And as he sang he realized that he didn't need to see his brother again to speak, he just needed to see Kili be a peace just as he was now.

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Thanks for reading, please leave a review. And don't forget to follow me on tumblr! My username is SongsofPysche13!

And a special thank you to TheHobbitAlways for all the help and support in writing this!

(1) A Walking Song by J.R Tolkien


	7. Chapter 7

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Thorin heaved a heavy sigh as he watched Gandalf stock off in a huff. Wizards. When did they become to rulers of this world? He shook his head, he had plenty to deal with on his plate now, without some bothersome wizard to add complications.

Fili was talking again.

Kind of.

He hadn't said a word since that night where he had sung his brother a lullaby. The next day Thorin had tried to speak with the lad, but Fili was silent as ever. It was as if the events of yesterday had never happened.

Thorin sighed again.

"Come on Bombur, we're hungry." He said, starting giving orders for the night.

"Fili! Kili!" he waited until one of his nephews look his way, "Look after the ponies, and make sure they don't get away this time!" he told them.s

Kili nodded and gave him a nod, Thorin watched them coral the ponies and bring them towards the small river (much smaller than last times). When they had gone from sight, he turned from them and started setting up his camp for the night.

Trouble started much earlier than usual that night when Fili came hurtling into their camp sight, wide eyed and out of breath.

"Fili! What is it lad?"

"What's wrong?"

"You look like someone's scared the living daylights out of you!"

"Tharkûn, zâram?"* the wizard? A spike?

The company chimed in, but Fili shook his head.

"Trolls. Bilbo's in danger. Come!" he said, and then he took off again.

Bofur stood up and grabbed his axe.

"Well, come on lads!" he shouted. And with a flurry of weopns, boots and steal the company took off after Fili. Thorin barely had time to grab his sword and lace his shoes as he raced behind them to save the hobbit.

They met Kili in a small dark clearning, as they gathered, Thorin heard the trolls tromping around, grumbling about this and that.

Bofur looked at Thorin, "So, what's the plan?"

Thorin slowly peered out into the bushes.

"Surpirse attack. Get Bilbo, free the ponies and run as fast as you can. We cannot afford a delay."

"Got it."

Thorin looked back at the group.

"Kili, and Fili. Good work. Now go back to camp, we left it unguarded."

Kili's eyes widened and glinted in the dark light.

"What? NO! We found the trolls, we want to fight!"

"No Kili, it's too dangerous for you." Thorin answered, holding up his hand.

"For me?! What's that supposed to mean?" Kili shot back with a glare.

"You are to stay-"

"No." Kili answered, and with a flick of his hair he rolled out into the clearing.

"NO! KILI!" Thorin shouted too loudly, but then he heard one of the trolls squeal.

"Drop him!" he heard Kili shout.

"What?" one of the trolls answered.

"I said, drop him."

This was as good as any of a time to lead an attack, Thorin pulled out his sword.

"On three. One…."

"THREE!" Dwalin shouted, and then jumped out into the clearing.

And the battle was on.

Unfortunately for this little group, it did not last long though. Within ten minutes the trolls had Bilbo strung up, and for the sake of the little hobbit Thorin had to surrender. Now he found himself in a dire situation, hoping for a miracle. And to make it worse, the trolls seemed fixated on Kili, and the chair;

"Hey, look at this little fella." One said

"He seems different, eh?" another one answered.

"Why 'choo sittin in that chair for?" the third one asked

Kili continued to glare, and not say a word.

" Stand up and fight like a man!" the leader of the troll pack shouted with a wicked grin on his face.

"Look at him rollin' around like a little dolly" the second in command laughed.

He gave Kili a rough shove and Kili winced as he rolled forward a few yards.

"No! Stop!" Thorin cried, but the troll stepped out in front of him , blocking him from Kili.

"Go on then, stand up and fight!" he said again.

Kili shook his head.

"No?"

"I cant" it came out as a quiet thin whisper and Thorin felt his heart break for his nephew.

The troll raised his brow.

"You cant?"

Kili shook his head, hair falling over his face, and Tom grinned an evil smile.

"Looking here Bert, we have a dwarf who can't walk. Now, where's the honor in that?" he said

"I say he's bluffing!" Bert said and he gave Kili's chair a hard push. The chair wobbled, but managed to stay erect.

"I have an idea! Let's have a little game—a little wager between three friends. Let's see how long he can stand. Winning bet gets him for supper!"

"Excellent idea, Tom!" Bert said

"I've never had a lame dwarf before. Will he taste the same?" William (the third troll) asked, poking Kili's legs with his stubby fingers.

Tom just smiled "Let's find out then"

He reached over with one massive hand and pulled Kili out of the chair and up to standing.

"No! Kili!" This time it was Fili who shouted. Thorin watched as Fili struggled past the others to get to his brother, but he was caught by the third troll before he could reach Kili.

"Hey! Stop that!" he said, shaking Fili by the cuff of his shirt.

The leader paused, then smiled devilishly. He pushed Kili over and held him down with his boot.

"Tie them up in those old burlap bags. We don't want them escaping while we play our games with this one here." He ordered.

"Good idea, Tom. I'll get those for you." Bert said.

"William! Round them up"

Bert threw a coil of rope.

"Make sure they don't get away."

Tom pressed his foot down harder on Kili's chest, making him wince loudly.

"And if you even think about escaping, this one here will be the first we squash into jelly!" He sneered at the group as William rounded them up, preventing any chance of escape.

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Sorry this update took so long! Next part should be up soon! Thank you to TheHobbitAlways for being my mentor and muse!

Please read and review!

Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

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Fili felt a heavy sense of hopelessness as he watched the two trolls tie up and stuff his companions into the burlap sacks. They all know if they struggled, Kili would get hurt even more, and no one could bare the thought of that.

"Come on, Blondie, you're next!" the troll sneered, holidng ip the rope with an evil grin. Fili did not waste a minute. HE tood up, and managed three steps towards his brother before a heavy force knocked him down.

"Not so fast, blondie." The troll muttered. Fili felt a heavy foot land on his back, pinning him face dirt to the ground. Then he felt his arms being yanked up and behind him. No! NO he was not going to die like this, trussed up like a mere animal. He growled and struggled, but it was no use. The troll was too strong, and the rope was too thick. Fili winced as he felt it tighten around his wrists, holding his hands in place behind his back. Fili didn't manage a good kick to the troll's shins, but that didn't stop the troll from tightly binding his ankles and knees together, then slipping the burlap sack over his body and tying it sharply at his neck.

The troll grinned at Fili, and then ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

"Pity you're such a pretty little dwarf. Maybe I'll convince Bert to let me keep you."

Fili promptly spat in his face.

The troll roared and then threw his down next to the pile of bagged dwarves.

"Start the fire! I'm getting hungry!" he roared.

"not quite yet, William. We still have our bets to place." Bert said.

"Right, right. Well, I bet he keels right on over. Those legs look like tow limp noodles to me!" William answered, walking over and touching one of Kili's legs with his foot.

"nice one, William. What about you, Bert?

"Ehh…" Bert pauses from pinching Bombur's face.

"He stands for a few seconds, then topples right over."

"Done"

"And you, Tom?"

"I'll wager he'll stand and manage a few steps, or maybe he's bluffing and using that chair just because he's lazy. We won't know until we try, boys!"

Bert clapped his hands. "Let's do this!"

Fili could only watch in silence as the trolls lifted his little brother out of his chair and held him up. Kili wobbled for a split second, and then he crumbled to the ground.

"Would you look at that!" Bert said with a grin.

"Hold on, hold on. Best out of three, remember?" William said, and he roughly grabbed Kili and pulled him to standing again.

He let go and Kili once again crumpled to the ground. The trolls laughed.

"Look's like he's lame after all. One more for fun?" William said, picking up Kili again.

Kili struggled against the troll, and Fili could see that his brother's eyes were glassy. He struggled against the sack, but he couldn't move a muscle. He then thought of what William had said, about _keeping _him and he felt his whole body freeze with terror. How were they going to get out of this one?

"And he falls again! Looks like you won the bet, Bert! Won't you share just a mouthful?"

Bert grinned, "Well maybe just a little. Let's get the rest of these dwarves cooking though!"

"It's almost dawn, we better hurry!"

The trolls grabbed six of the twelve dwarves and trussed them up to a spigot that laid across the fire. Kili lay, forgotten next to his chair, not moving at all.

"Kili?" Fili heard Thorin whisper.

Kili didn't move.

"You alright, lad?" Balin asked

Kili remained silent and still.

"Fili, can you get yourself loose?" Thorin whispered, Fili looked up at his uncle and shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on, Fili. Do _something. _You're our only hope!"

Fili felt frozen, scared of the troll's words he kept still and silent. He couldn't let them hurt him. Not like that again.

"You are making a huge mistake!" Suddenly a voice rose from the group, strong and loud. Fili turned and saw little Bilbo standing up in his burlap sack. He had almost forgotten about the hobbit!

"What now?" Bert asked

"Do you really want to cook them like that? I mean, have you smelt them?" Bilbo asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Shut up!"

"No, no let the Flurba-bbit talk." Bert said, grabbing his knife and walking over to them.

"Your gonna need something a lot stronger than sage, if you want to cook up this lot." Bilbo continued.

"Well, what do you suggest we do?"

"Hmm, the secret to cooking dwarf is to…..skin them first!" Bilbo shouted, and Fili felt himself groan. Skin them? What was Bilbo thinking?

The troll considered Bilbo's advice.

"William, get me a fillet." He said

William scoffed, "I've had plenty of dwarves with their skins on. Boots and all." He walked over and picked up Bombur.

"Nice and crunchy!"

"No! No you don't want that one! He's got…worms in his tubes. In fact, they are all infected with parasites. It's a nasty business, I wouldn't risk it at all." Bilbo shouted.

William dropped Bombur with a squeal.

"Infected? We're not infected!" a voice from the vicinity of the dwarf pile shouted.

" We are perfectly fine, thank you very much!"

Thorin cleared his throat loudly, and the group finally caught on to what Bilbo was doing.

"I've got worms as big as my arms!"

"I'm infected!"

The group continued with it's blabbering, and the trolls truly looked confused. Suddenly there was a huge bright light.

"May the dawn take you all!"

Fili looked up, it was Gandalf, he had come back! They were saved, finally!

Fili sighed in relief, he had never been so happy to see that little grey wizard.

They were saved, finally!

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Thanks for reading, and thank you to TheHobbitAlways for being my muse!

Please review!


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